One thing I know for sure: It's your choice.
You don't HAVE to do anything....I mean ANY. THING.
Once you truly download that and know it, like you know, it like you know it; you will begin to change. Every thing will begin to change.
We all have CONSTANT conversation with ourselves. Mine used to go something like this:
"UGGGH. Are you serious? It's already morning? Shit! I have so much to do. I don't want to do any of it. Omg I am sooooo tired. My body is killing me!"
"Look at this (expletive) mess. Nobody cares about anything. I have to do everything. Omg, I can't (expletive) believe this shit!"
"I can't stand him!!!"
"They are taking advantage of me! They don't respect me, or listen to anything I say!"
"I can't believe I have to do this, this is gonna suck!"
"I can't afford that." "I'll never be able to do that." "I could never have that."
"I wish I could, but I cant." I can't....I can't...I can't....
"I wish I didn't, but I have to". I have to...I have to...I have to...
"I have to, but I don't want to." I don't want to...I don't want to...I don't want to...
If this sounds or feels familiar, then read on...
Wanna know where that inner conversation landed me? A broke, sick, miserable woman, who was hating her life, her circumstances, herself! It wasn't until I removed "I can't", and "I have to" out of my vocabulary that I began the shift. Eventually I realized that I didn't HAVE to lie in any bed that I'd made-that I could change the sheets, get a new bed, or sleep in the woods if I wanted to! That I always have a choice. I didn't even HAVE to stay with my family if I didn't WANT to! Crazy as that sounds, it's TRUE!!!! Plenty of people up and leave. If I really wanted to leave, I could. I didn't HAVE to do any of the chores!!! I didn't HAVE to follow through with any commitments I'd made if I didn't want to! I didn't HAVE to do ANYTHING!!!
I really, thoroughly examined what my alternatives were to every choice, then I DECIDED which effect/result I preferred. When I realized that I really was in control, I could then find the value in what I was doing. It may sound silly but this was how I began to talk to myself: when folding laundry, I would turn those resentful thoughts around and say "I WANT to fold this laundry because I'm grateful that my children have these clothes to wear." When dreading making dinner I would turn it around and say "I WANT to make this dinner for my family because I love them and I enjoy caring for them." At first, my words were not the truth of how I felt, but I would repeat them over and over, then one day, I realized that those thoughts were actually becoming my reality!
Even now, years later I will still purposely focus on what I want to see. For example, if one of my kids is being a pain in the butt and I find myself saying that in my mind, I'll turn it around and say "My kids are so cooperative. I love when he picks up his clothes without instruction" and I'll imagine that scenario in my mind, or remember when he actually did something I could appreciate. It not only changes my mood, but it changes my focus, and what we focus on grows. I have completely turned my relationships around using this exact method!
When you OWN your choices and take responsibility for them, and realize that you DO WANT them, then, and ONLY then, will you enjoy your daily activity. Learn to say NO, when you want to say NO, but learn to CLAIM your YESES. Find the value in what you're doing and begin enjoying the life you CHOOSE!
Have a great week, and if you decide to give this exercise an honest try, please let me know how it helps! Pay attention! It really works!